Got accepted to UBC!

rules my universe....fingers crossed for diploma marks...good luck everyone...keep and eye on your mailboxes!!

I have a thing for cinnamon hearts...other than that could care less.... I like my love spontaneous not calendar dictated.

I'm sick. So sick. It hurts. And I can't speak. I can't sing. I never realized how much I sing.  The shower sure.  That and every other second.  And now that I can't I feel lonely.  Like something has been taken away, my invisible friend? A little joy has been extinguished. I sing when I do my makeup, I sing when on msn, in the shower, on the phone...(i know puzzle that one out), reading, thinking, combing my hair, I sing myself to sleep.  And now I can't.  Please please I just wanna get better.

I have my first diploma exam tomorrow.  It an English essay...cheers to starting out with something that is going to provoke tears.  I feel so uncertain...you can study but you can't.  It all depends on the question I guess.  I feel so poorly prepared.  Best of luck to all of you on exams..diploma's or otherwise and have an incredible exam break.  Love to tsunami survivors and victims.  God Bless.

It's probably stating the blatantly obvious...but it has been a terribly long time since I updated.  This is because tiring as it is for you to read about the frivolous superficiality that is my life it is perhaps even more tiring for me to write it.  I would love to be able to say something insightful and timely but I definitely fail in that department.  Today was the last day of school before the holidays and for some reason I'm back to being a hermit... blame it on tiredness or the whole ridiculous exercise of Christmas but I long for solitude.  Thus, I spent my Friday evening alone with my sewing machine.  Although my mother just came home to me modelling my new strapless dress and said that it was stunning.  So at least my night was productive.  I love when people think I am creative although I would like to impress upon you all that my creativity is merely the lengths I am forced to go to as a result of extreme poverty (which is not true I just cannot bear to spend money that I feel I haven't earned).  Like this evenings pleated corseted, strapless gown (soon to be shortened to mere dress) made of patio furniture covering material which was on sale for 99 cents a metre thus bringing the total value of my dress to $5.50 including the zipper.  And once I shorten it from floor-length to knee length I'll probably make someone a beach tote of some sort from the excess.  The other day I had a lovely and inspiring conversation with Bob.  Which isn't exactly rare because he is always inspiring and I hope that if we continue to talk he will cease to think of me as such a bimbo.  But alas, we were considering consumerism...actually he was considering and I was nodding.  The main idea that really hit me was how much we are unwilling to give up ... even if it is the right thing and means saving and preserving the good of the world and basic human dignity.  I have decided...please do not let this be in vain... to never ever again buy any clothes first hand, to never leave a room with the lights on, in fact, to sit in the dark as much as possible, to be less frivolous in the things I buy, to always buy coffee for homeless people, to take shorter showers, and to put on a sweater instead of turning up the heat.  I hope that by doing this I will be able to walk by the salvation army bell-ringers without having to look away while I toss in my change and to feel as though I have done more than just dropped coins their way.  I want to sacrifice and to feel less guilty for having what others do not.  I want to give up my time and talent and riches for a chance to feel at peace with what I have.  I often wonder at the futility of me being born into a life where I have so much comfort and opportunity if I am not smart or ambitious or motivated enough to make use of them.  The perennial question constantly arises and will not go away...."Why me and not them?"  I am surrounded by luxury that I do not deserve.  I am incompetant, lazy and insensitive.  I have no personal skills and few friends.  I am shallow and self-centered.  I worry more about my weight than the fact that my new clothes were created in Bangladesh by starving people paid 9 cents an hour.  Sometimes I wish I could run away from it all...leave behind all priviledge in a futile attempt to rid myself of the quilt that plagues me. Do you ever feel this way?

Episoe one of the Laura Files....10:14 on a Saturday night...I am at home alone with nothing to do and nobody to do it with and so incredibly bored that cleaning my room sounds like a laugh riot.  Save me

i bought a new vacuum....it was expensive....$30 (aaaahhhh)well i only had to buy on piece of it....huh and yes well then i bought a bracelet made out of a fork and a metal bowtie necklace because I have an addiction to consignment stores almost as bad as my thrift store addiction.  But I won't tell you all how cheap they were cos I want you to think that I actually own glorious things that were not at one point owned by other people and cost enough that it would be logical to pay for it with paper money instead of change.  The other day my mom said to me..."remember the time I gave you my credit card to go shopping?" and I was like yeah...and she said..."your father thought you would spend our entire life savings...but I knew you would go to goodwill"  and she was right.  Why am I like this??  I think it is because God meant for me to be a struggling artist.  Now if only I were artistic...in any way at all would be fine.....

that is all for today...oh and I got a sunburn and a black eye.

This morning I woke up and it was my usual early time so I went to the Premier's stampede breakfast at 7:30 am.  Despite the free food, this is not something I would recommend due to the fact that it was all hoity toity suits frolicking around and attempting to network.  Although since all of them are on the atkins diet there were plenty of pancakes for me and very little sausages and  bacon which suits me just dandily.  Otherwise it was boring exceptionally boring.  After that I went to my physio appointment which was strangely quite exciting since it was a new physiotherapist that my mom and I decided I should go to to get a second opinion since my regular physiotherapist is a bitch and a pessimist and says I will be in a wheelchair in three years.  And she is mean and hurts me with her muscle stimulator.  Anyhow, the new one was pretty darn nice and she even fixed my back for me which was gloriously wonderful and she says could possibly help my knees.  All was well until she told me that in order to fix the pain I have to feel the pain.  Which I think could be quite terrible since it means stopping taking all of my anti-inflammatories, and cortisone injections, and tylenol arthritis pain, and advil.  But, since she is nice I will do it.  So today was my first day without those lovely and comforting drugs.  It was ok a tad painful but generally not as bad as I expected.  Maybe she's right and I probly don't need quite so much.  I'm gonna try anyhow at least for a week.  The rest of the day was quite uneventful.  I decided not to go to the stampede with my pals because it is not that tremendous once you've been there a million times and I am boycotting it and I also have no money.  But I'm kinda glad I didn't since that much walking is painful with my drugs and probably agonizing without.  Sorry if I'm really grumpy this week...  So instead I came home and my mother told me to vacum.  Well, I was in a bad mood due to being faced with a week of pain (its actually not that bad..did I tell you that already?) and so I vacumed rather violently.  This ended up with me breaking the vacum.  I can tell you the family dictator was not pleased about this.  He ranted and raved for about an hour and refused to let me go out.  My consequence was that I can't go out and I have to take the stupid vacum to the vacum repair place on the bus and pay for it to be fixed.  Which isn't really altogether that bad.  O and I'm grounded.  But neohitler started darning the curtains after dinner and fell asleep in his chair so I grabbed my kite and went for some lovely evening kite flying with a friend.  We had about as good a time as it is possible to have while flying a kite and ended up tying three kite strings together and flying it massively high! This was highly amusing.  Then we started realing it in and it was pulling really really hard.  So we realed in the irst two strings and were on the original one when it all of a sudden....completely unexpectedly...surprisingly....astoundingly...broke...  so the kite started flying of its own accord across the field, over the playground, across the boulevard, and out of sight.  This was rather traumatizing.  I limped after it as best as I could.  Soon I realized that I would probably be shot if I were to not find the stupid kite since his majesty takes great pride in his fabulous kite.  Anyhow long story short, we asked random dog walkers and evening strollers and eventually a rollerblading guy came up to us and asked if we were looking for a kite....good guess since we were still carrying the string reel.  He said he had found the end of the string.  So we found the end of the string but the kite ended up being about four houses down in someone's backyard.  So now four houses are strung together by the roofs with kite string.  But the occupants were laughing so I don't think they hate us.  Besides, I live like four blocks away from these ppl and its a city so yeah I'll probably never see them again.  And now their cats can tightrope walk between houses and that's always a bonus.  It was a good time all round...but tiring....that's my story of the day..its long for not having really done anything...anyone wanna come take my vacum to the shop with me tomorrow?? or possibly offer me a ride?  the thing is older than me (exact antiquity unknown) and massive! so assistance would be hugely appreciated.  My greatest fear is that they will be like wow I have never seen a vacum so old...there is no way we can fix this.  You'll just hae to buy a new one.  Hahaha great it will probably cost about a million dollars ...so much for ever getting out of debt.  but yes much love to all who actually care enough to expend the effprt it takes to read this much of a massive rant! You are my true and lovely pals! Love laura-ann

I have noticed that old people have grey hair.  They also have grey eyebrows and old men have grey beards.  The question remains however, do old people have grey armpit hair and leg hair? And other hair...such as toe fuzz and nose hairs...do they turn grey too?  If anyone knows the answer to this perplexing question I'd like to know.  Inquiring minds (ie. mine) are inquiring.